January 19, 2019 – Sitting here tonight and I want to plan out how the next days will go. Had a slight panick attach today and I know for sure there is still some deep mess going on that has control over me. I have the deisire to give it all to God, but I guess I don’t have the power to do it. That seems really silly to say when I know I can do ALL THINGS through Christ whom my strength comes from.

“I have the desire to give it all to God, but…”

2022 – I was trying to find a note I had written a while ago, that was on my mind hard the last few days. In large letters, at the top of a page – in one of my journals that I cannot find – I AM THE MANAGER is written. – maybe I will find it when I’m supposed to and I will write something else later.

As I was searching and I stopped on the Jan 19, 2019 journal post and it struck some inspiration into this same subject – but a slightly different twist. I am old enough to understand when this happens, I pay better attention.

As a profession, I am a Manager, but I am not the owner. I do make key decisions, but only because I know what the owner wants me to decide. If I can apply this to my personal life, it translates to me being the manager of my life – but not the owner. I have given my life to the One whom paid a great price for it. How I manage it, well that is up to me. I am a decision maker – what I will wear, what I will eat, how I will manage my finances, what will I consume with my eyes, ears, and mind…

I am the manager, I’m not a victim, not the owner, not a worrier…only the manager. I have been given this one life. I have been given this life by God to do great things for His Name.

If I could write to the person I was in 2019, I would say. Quit making this so hard. It is as simple as a decision.

Soul Print Author Mark Batterson wrote, “I don’t know what difficulties you’ve endured, but they don’t have to define you if you simply let them refine you.”